I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
