just tell him i said nine months
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
