I cockslap morals
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
