You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
