my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
