you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
