Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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