His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
