Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
two words: eviction party
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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