I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
