Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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