And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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