good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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