If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
