When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
