Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize