quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
