He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
