Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
