they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
