You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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