doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
be right there i have to get my cape
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
