Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i came on her dog
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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