and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize