That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
