Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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