she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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