i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
