I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
