Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
