he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
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