jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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