who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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