hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
