I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
