yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i wish my penis had a tongue
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
