Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
