my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
