mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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