i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize