I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
