You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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