I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
