And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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