Sry I called you an 8
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize