the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize