I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
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i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
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I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
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