And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
