I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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