the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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