Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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