I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
