I am in a vortex of obligation.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
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