and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
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It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
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Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
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