Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
