My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
