dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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