Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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