I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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