A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
