Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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