i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
