I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
