Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
