Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Someone came in the potted fern
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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