Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
