Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
