"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
