fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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