I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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