Don't you send me to vm
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
